Get Free Downloadable Affirmations: Delivered straight to your inbox!

Illuminate Program

What does it mean to be a ‘good mum’?

The answer is simple (and it’s not what you think)

Enrolments are currently closed and will be reopening in April 2024. Join the waitlist to be first to know when doors open again for Illuminate.

If you thought it had something to do with…

…how much time you spend with your kids
while also squeezing in the cooking, bookkeeping, cleaning, patching of grazed knees, tending to the garden, driving everyone to a million activities

…how many games you play with them
compared to the number of things you do just for yourself each day that brings you pure joy

…whether you took time off to care for them
or headed straight back to work, or chose bottle over breastfeeding, or let your toddler have more screen time than green time…

You’d be way off.

Truth is, none of that has anything to do with how ‘good’ you are as a mum. It merely describes what you do and says nothing about how you feel.

Because while you’re busy taking care of everyone, running on empty and trying to live up to impossible standards of motherhood…

…what your kids *actually* want (and what we all want, really) is to feel safe and seen.

So to give them that, what you really need is permission to put your own oxygen mask on so you can keep providing that loving, safe environment AND take care of your own needs and do the things that light YOU up.

(without guilt, shame or constantly second guessing yourself)

Here’s what you need to know about having more compassion for yourself in motherhood

It’s ok to have kids AND to want (and need) something else for yourself.

It’s normal to have bad days, lose your cool, get thrown off course and make wrong choices, it’s how you come back from those moments, forgive yourself and get back on track that really matters.

It’s perfectly fine to be warm, kind and helpful towards others AND maintain strong boundaries that protect your precious time and energy.

It’s actually a good thing to take time out for yourself so you can recharge your batteries and come back feeling calmer and more like you.

But the real break you need is the one you give to yourself

To the beautiful mamma pouring her whole heart into her family and also quietly longing for something… more…

You learn so much about yourself

from having kids, but then you lose yourself as well. Illuminate helped me reconnect with who I am and what I want for my life.

Jacqui D, Qld

If you need permission to prioritise yourself

To set some exciting goals just for you that go beyond the milestones and mealtimes of your family. To take time out so you can feel calmer, more joyful and more grateful for what you have right now, in this very moment.

And to actually start becoming that braver, bolder, brighter version of you that you thought wouldn’t come until you had more time / less work on/ older kids/ warmer weather…

Then this is it.

And there’s never been a better time than right now to turn on your life force, remember what lights you up and reconnect with what you truly want out of life.

Your permission slip is ready for collection…

Introducing Illuminate

A 6-month group coaching experience for mothers who know when they thrive in life — their kids and everything else does, too.

Inside, you’ll find tools, daily practices, motherhood advice and a welcoming community to help you through the hard days, stress and negative stories as well as guidance and support when dealing with feeling low. Ultimately, you’ll find ways to reignite your spark and illuminate your life from the inside out.

I still use the tools and concepts Benita shared with us every day.

Illuminate has changed my outlook completely. I honestly don’t think I would have done half the things I’ve been able to accomplish if I hadn’t given myself permission to do this program.
Sarah H, Qld

The Illuminate program provides space, support and a renewed sense of purpose so you not only get back to feeling like your old self again but can actually redefine a whole NEW version of you.

Through a powerful combination of structured lessons, regular group calls, private coaching with me and a library full of audios, videos, readings and other resources you’ll come away with the confidence and an action plan to help you be the best you can possibly be.

(you know, instead of simply going through the motions each day, feeling guilty, resentful and constantly ‘shoulding’ all over yourself - no one needs that!)

Best of all you’ll have a new awareness, a new beginning and a brand new circle of beautiful like-minded mums who totally understand the journey you’re on.

Here’s how it works:

There are 9 lessons in all, each delivered in an audio and written format with downloads, visualisations, video trainings and exercises to help you absorb and integrate what you’re learning over the 6 months that we’ll be journeying together.

Illuminate is about living from the inside out. That means being able to find your centre no matter what’s going on around you.

In Lesson one we’ll explore:
  • How to bring your whole self; mind, heart, body and soul into alignment to create the life you truly want.
  • Using the Thrive model, you’ll gain a deeper awareness of what you MOST want and need in life, so you can start living today as the woman you want to become.
  • How to change behaviour through the power of your subconscious mind.

Motherhood changes our identity, relationships, and outlook on life, this is the process of matrescence. As we navigate new roles and responsibilities, self-doubt and ‘mum guilt’ can creep in, as we start to question our abilities or feel we can’t meet standards of “perfect” motherhood.

In lesson two we’ll be delving into:
  • Our innate value as individuals, in our role as mother, and for the mothering work we do.
  • The surprising definition of what it means to be a ‘good enough’ mother, as we release ‘shoulds’ and unrealistic expectations of being the ‘perfect’ mother.
  • Understanding, accepting and embracing all of our emotions, including the difficult ones like guilt and anger.

The true purpose of a goal is the growth you experience on your way to achieving it. This lesson will change the way you view goals and goal setting forever.

In Lesson three, we cover:
  • The NEW way to set goals, particularly good if you’ve been in survival mode focusing on everyone else’s needs ahead of your own.
  • A simple but powerful process, plus a handy checklist, to help you set and actually achieve your goals.
  • An example and the key components of your new goal setting approach.

There’s an immense power in tapping into your true self and reconnecting with your gifts to unlock your full potential.

In lesson four, you’ll uncover:
  • The unique gifts and the special talents you may have forgotten about or let go of to care for your family.
  • Your emotional guidance system, how to switch it on and find more joy, meaning and direction in your life.
  • 3 strategies that will help you integrate your special gifts into your daily life for more joy and fulfilment.

Our beliefs shape our self image and can empower or disempower us depending on if they are positive or negative. Studying our beliefs and stories is powerful, consciously choosing new ones is transformative.

In lesson five, you’ll discover:
  • How to rewire limiting beliefs, rewrite old stories and set out on a whole new path to reach your potential.
  • Simple strategies to instantly diffuse unhelpful thoughts.
  • A bonus guided 11 minute meditation that will calm and focus your mind for the whole day.
  • Tools and tips from renowned psychiatrist and Harvard professor, John Sharp to help rewrite your life story.

Did you realise your current results are a product of your previous goals (or lack of) as well as your current self image?

In lesson six, you’ll learn how to:
  • Upgrade your self image by reprogramming the ‘cybernetic mechanism’ of your mind aka the goal achieving device that keeps you on track.
  • Write a new self image script in the action planner, visualising it and starting to BE that person now.
  • Change your self-talk (and exactly what to say to that mean girl inside your head) to build up your confidence as you keep moving towards your goals.

If you’re not choosing how you invest your time, someone or something else is choosing for you!

In lesson seven, we’ll focus on:
  • Setting intentions about how you spend your hours, days, weeks, months and years so you can not just get more done but live with more purpose and fulfilment.
  • Being more present for yourself and your loved ones while also making effective use of your time.
  • Success strategies for creating a life by design.
  • Advanced decision making and planning techniques.
  • Better habits and daily priorities to create more ease.
  • Creating a morning routine that works for YOU.

To be a better decision maker, we have to get comfortable with things not always working out the way we want.

In lesson eight, we’ll dig into:
  • The sneaky thoughts that keep us stuck and what needs to shift so you can start living life on your terms.
  • The ‘One Habit That Will Change Your World’.
  • Bob Proctor’s principles of decision that now forms the basis of all decision making in my life.
  • 5 quick ways to improve your decision making abilities.
  • The question: how to know if I’m making the right decision?

We eliminate fear through naming it, understanding it and continuing to take intelligent action in spite of it.

In our final lesson 9, we tackle:
  • The biggest reason we lose confidence when we’re reaching for our goals — and how to keep on track.
  • Fear: where it comes from and how to manage it so you can keep moving forward no matter what.
  • The psychological process of growth — understanding (and jumping over) the ‘Terror Barrier’!
  • How to take action in the face of fear.

Inside the private portal you’ll also find additional motherhood support resources on a range of important topics including:

Fertility  Endometritis Perinatal Miscarriage  Mental health Addiction 

Plus you’ll get access to these exclusive bonuses:

Bonus 1

Ongoing Quarterly Illuminate Community Connection Call

Stay connected and continue feeling supported long after the program is complete! This bonus free call will be held online over Zoom and will be open to the entire Illuminate community – past and present participants.

In the past I’ve been in containers where I didn’t want it to end or I *wished* I’d asked a certain question that I only thought of later. This call allows you to do that and keep growing and learning together.

Bonus 2

Exclusive Access to our GLOW Wellness HUB

This is a directory we created to bring together all of our favourite wellness providers in one convenient spot, to compassionately support your whole-of-self wellbeing.

As a VIP member of the GLOW Wellness Hub, you’ll receive discount codes to directly access the services of our wonderful GLOW partners who are coaches and practitioners in the fields of fertility, feminine energy, relationships, naturopathy, natural health, meditation, child health, and more!

Bonus 3

Afternoon & Evening Energy eBook

This eBook has been designed to help you navigate decision fatigue and help you approach the ‘crazy’ dinner, bath and bedtime hours with a better mindset and greater ease.

It’s got simple practices and practical tips that you can use straight away and see instant results. This is a new resource and one that our current Illuminate mammas are loving!

Also included:

Your Sparkle Strategy

We’ll work together throughout the course of the program to craft your own personalised action plan that lays out the next steps for you to not just thrive in motherhood, but shine from the inside out.

And to help you feel supported and celebrated on this journey, you’ll have a close knit circle of amazing mammas to share all the highs and lows with.

You’ll get daily access to a private group Slack channel where you can share your thoughts, dreams and wins. Plus myself and my team will be popping in to answer all your questions, provide you with prompts and give you lots of encouragement and extra support when you need it.

Since doing the program, I am now consciously doing more things for myself

The Illuminate program came about at a time when I really needed it but didn’t know exactly how much I needed it

Amanda A, Qld
Join Illuminate today and receive:
to help you shine from the inside out, delivered over 24 weeks with accompanying lesson plans, audios, videos and downloads.
with full replays so you won’t ever miss a thing.
to the private Illuminate Slack channel so you can stay connected after the program ends.
to map out a path forward so you can reach your highest potential in this season of your life.
(as well as any updates we make) and includes all of the Illuminate lessons, videos, audios, readings and resources from leaders and experts, plus Benita’s recommended reading List.
who are all experiencing similar challenges and the highs and lows of motherhood…and with that knowing that there’s gotta be more…
via email and Slack throughout the life of the program.

Meet your coach…

Hi, I’m Benita

I’m a mother of four energetic boys, devoted wife, certified motherhood studies practitioner, best selling amazon author, and proud Aussie farmer.

And even though we might not have met, I feel like I already know a bit about you…

You’re good at being strong. You’re good at looking after others, even preempting their needs. No matter how sleep deprived you are, you get up and keep going. You don’t like to burden others with your problems. You don’t ask for help. You never complain, you know there’s always someone doing it tougher than you.

Above all else, you try to keep it all together – for your kids, your partner, your work, your community, and maybe, just occasionally, for yourself.

I know all this, because I’ve been exactly where you are. A lot of people have told me,“Benita, you’re a Super Mum” and I’ll be honest, I’ve never felt comfortable with it. They’ll usually follow it up with something like, “I’m not coping and I only have two kids!” or “I shouldn’t complain, I only have 3 not 4!”, which concerns me for two reasons.

First up, you should know there are absolutely times when I don’t cope. In fact, there was a time not too long ago when I pushed myself so hard, for so long that everything came crashing down around me… you can read my story here.

But what really worries me about these well meaning comments, is that they usually come from a place of comparison and not enoughness.

It makes me incredibly sad to think that strong, smart, hard working women who keep showing up for their families, day after day, often with precious little sleep much less any time for themselves, can still feel like they’re not doing / caring / giving / or being ‘enough’.

That’s why I created Illuminate

To help you reignite your spark amongst all of the magnificence and messiness of motherhood. To remind you that the daily grind of packing lunch boxes and picking up lego doesn’t have to put your desires on the backburner. To show you that you can be a radiant, resplendent, completely luminous woman AND still be a good mum.

In fact, I believe when you learn how to TRUST yourself and give yourself permission to shine as bright as you possibly can, it makes you the best mum in the world!

I want you to feel that, too..
Illuminate is perfect for you if:

Ready to regain control, clarity and confidence from the inside out. There really is no criteria other than your desire to step into a better version of yourself – this program will meet you wherever you’re at on your motherhood journey.

Overwhelmed or stuck in a rut and you want to experience more joy in motherhood, greater clarity in your thoughts and a lot more confidence in yourself generally.

whether that’s emerging from the baby phase, children starting primary school, or leaving for boarding school or University, you’re wondering… what’s next?

or you simply want more and better, either way you’re not sure of your direction but you could use some help to create an achievable plan and support to take the next step.

to help improve your mental and emotional health.

Most of all, you’d really love to remember and reconnect with who you were before you became a mother and continue the inner work to become the very best version of yourself.

You deserve to feel happy and whole AND be the best mother you can be

But when you’ve held the spotlight on your family for so long, meeting their needs and working hard to ensure they stay happy and healthy, chances are your own light has dimmed a little.

You only get one life and it’s far too precious to spend each day feeling not enough.

In Illuminate, we put the spotlight on your big dreams, long term goals and deepest desires. Together, we explore which needs aren’t being met and where to focus more of your precious time and energy (and which unhelpful stories to let go of) so you can finally have the clarity, confidence and self trust to shine bright again, from the inside out.

There’s clearly been a lot of thought gone into the content, as well as the design of the program itself.

It’s been put together in a particular sequence that builds on itself and lays out all of the concepts in a really clear and straightforward way with plenty of time to sit with things between the fortnightly calls, it’s truly all encompassing.

Natasha S, NSW

Got some questions?

Here are the most common ones people ask me before they ‘yes’ to Illuminate

There are two ways we work together inside Illuminate, the monthly group coaching calls and the 1:1 session. The group environment is a safe, welcoming, compassionate space where we can explore new possibilities and no question is off limits or idea too crazy.

During these calls, I’ll facilitate a discussion based on an Illuminate lesson or concept as well as anything that comes up for the group. You will be encouraged to ask questions, yet won’t be called on to speak unless you feel comfortable to do so. In fact, you don’t even need to attend the calls (although you will gain so much more value if you can turn up live) all calls are recorded and you can watch at a time that suits you.

The private call you and I have will be used to create a plan to get you from where you are now, to where you want to be. I can see your potential even when you can’t and I’ll hold a vision for you greater than you can hold for yourself. I’ll be the objective voice in your life and your biggest cheerleader as you start taking steps towards the new version of yourself. I’ll ask you the hard questions and provide support, considered feedback and compassionate accountability to keep you moving towards the goals you’ve set for yourself.

Most of all, you’ll feel completely held, seen and supported throughout the program as you slowly unearth what’s been holding you back so you can become the version of yourself you truly want to be.

Now is always the best time to start working on yourself, even when it’s scary! If you’ve felt the pull for something more or better in your life, beyond the day to day of being and doing all the things for your family. If you know you’re ready for a change but have no idea what that looks like. If you’re feeling lost, stuck, unsure of who you are beyond ‘mum’ and you’re ready to put the spotlight back on you, there’s a reason you’re here. Trust your inner voice. And if you’re still not sure, let’s get on a call to chat about if this is right for you. Book here.

Past clients have experienced positive changes from as early as the first group call. The work we do from day one will help you become more aware of how you feel in each moment and the conversations you have in your head will be less about second guessing yourself and more about making confident and conscious decisions. You’ll discover the value and real joy in taking precious time out for yourself (even if that’s just a few minutes each day) without guilt or shame. You’ll gain tools and daily practices to help you feel more grounded and calmer in the chaos as well as developing better habits and boundaries so you can recognise and honour your needs, wants and desires.

If you’re at the point of burnout and you’d love more energy, focus and self awareness to become the best version of yourself, Illuminate will give you the tools, self awareness and that all important ‘village’ to make that happen. We have many glowing reviews and case studies from current and past Illuminate ladies, which you can read here.

Great question and I love how discerning you are because you absolutely should be when it comes to finding the right coach, support and community for you. My work is grounded in my certification of motherhood studies, my own experiences as a mum of four, and my ongoing learning through my clients and community. I completed my Coaching Core Essentials training with Coach U in 2013/14 and have been coaching as a business and life coach ever since. I’ve invested heavily in working with and training under world-leading coaches and mentors since 2018. I’m also currently completing a Graduate Diploma in Psychology.

In Human Design I’m a Projector 6/2 profile – here to guide and see the other, to teach, lead, write and speak. I’m also highly intuitive and that plays a big part in my coaching.

My Amazon bestselling book, The Art of Trying, is an intimate account of my journey to conceive children, my experiences with infertility and treatments, loss, mental health, the strength of mind and body, and relationships. Sharing my story helped me form an emotional connection with other women on their own journey to and through motherhood.

This growing connection evolved to one where I started to observe that as we embrace motherhood and give ourselves to all of its demands, we also begin to lose sight of ourselves and our own true potential. With curiosity and compassion, I wondered if motherhood was indeed, the ultimate sacrifice. By default, should women have to surrender their own potential when they become a mother? The short answer is, ‘no’. But the challenge is that so many women simply don’t know how to do it any differently and so Illuminate was born.

This program is designed to help you reconnect with yourself in motherhood, to reveal your unspoken desires, discover your gifts, tap into your creativity and realise your full potential.

All you need is an email address and a decent internet connection to join our group coaching calls via Zoom. If you want to connect with myself and my team and the other women in the program via our private Slack channel you are welcome to but it’s entirely optional. 

You can start anytime! lluminate is always open for enrolment so you can start when the timing is right for you. You will be guided through the program and have live coaching for 6 months from the time of enrolment. However, you will have lifetime access to all of the lesson content (plus anything new we create or add in the future) as well as our Illuminate private Slack community.

To get the most out of this program, you’ll need one hour per fortnight for the group coaching call (recordings will be available if you miss it) and then ideally 20-30 minutes each day, which can be split into smaller chunks if you need to. I’ve designed the program with busy mums in mind, making it as practical, efficient and user-friendly for you as possible so you can easily fit it in and around your daily commitments. In fact, you’ll soon learn the tools and strategies that actually give you back time and create more spaciousness in your day.

When you join, I strongly encourage you to commit yourself to making this time for yourself every day. Like anything in life, the more energy you put in, the more you’ll get back! Dig in for 24 weeks – I promise you, the effects will last a lifetime.

And if you still have questions and want to chat with me before making your decision…

So if you're ready to find your spark, ignite your full potential and reclaim your magnificence in motherhood

It would be an honour to welcome you into the Illuminate community and support you to shine from the inside out

Enrolments are currently closed. Join our waitlist to be first to know when doors open again in april 2024

Get a copy of all the inclusions and details straight to your inbox.

The Art of Trying Chapter 1

Hey gorgeous! Drop your details down below and I’ll send you the first chapter of The Art of Trying FREE.

Come Thrive with Me

Hey gorgeous! Join the email list to receive my eNews curated to help mothers thrive in their own way, and to hear when I have new and special offers!

Let’s talk for a minute about overwhelm — and not the ‘gee I’ve got a lot going on today’ kind.

I mean the kind that rises up and grabs you by the throat, shakes you and demands you take notice. Complete physical, mental and emotional overwhelm. The final breaking point. I call it The Black Hole.

That’s where I was on Tuesday 30th October 2018. Standing in our farm kitchen, surrounded by piles of dirty dishes and unpacked groceries; 4 tired kids to feed, bathe and put to bed; meals to make for a bunch of hungry harvest workers; and no one to help me.

I’d left my psychologist’s office earlier that morning feeling a little better having talked it out, only to arrive home and be swept off my feet by a tsunami of chaos, confusion and an overwhelming sense of responsibility. There was no reprieve, no escape.

In the months leading up to this, I hadn’t been able to concentrate or make decisions. I yelled. A lot. I was constantly frustrated and so angry at everything and everyone! I was like a caged tiger, it all felt so. freaking. hard. Even the smallest things would set off a cascade of negative thoughts in my mind. I was so incredibly hard on myself and unable to let things go.

Battling on through panic attacks and constant anxiety I told myself, ‘things will get better when… I get a break…have more sleep, once harvest is over, when I just find some time to be by myself’… But of course, the break never came. In fact, the load only got bigger and when school holidays rolled around and the kids got sick just before harvest, I fell deeper into the Black Hole.

All I could think was: I don’t want to do this anymore! On the day of breaking point I screamed and cried down the line to a dear friend, then hung up and did what we all have to do – I thought about the people depending on me, the ones I loved so much… and pushed through with the evening routine.

But something clicked and at that point, I knew something had to change.

It was confronting to say the least when I put it all down on paper that night, revealing years of built up frustration, indecisiveness, self sabotage, people pleasing, perfectionism, anger, resentment, guilt, suppression of self and a deep fear of failure. Add a heaping dose of sleep deprivation and I was shocked at how long I’d been able to function so ‘well’ for so long!

For years I’d been devoting myself entirely to the boys and our business and not done any work on myself. I was ‘super mum’ to everyone around me but when I looked in the mirror, I didn’t even recognise the woman staring back at me.

I decided to make it a priority to work with a coach and actively engage in honest self-discovery and self-examination, peeling back the layers to expose how I was truly feeling and what I truly wanted for my life. I started 7 days after my rock bottom and it was a true turning point in my life.

The inner work is ongoing. I still re-evaluate how I’m feeling and the direction I’m heading in on a daily basis. I’ve still got a way to go but it felt good to climb out of the dark, lonely Black Hole and feel the warm spark of joy and purpose reigniting inside of me again. My goal now is always to find my centre despite the chaos and to help other women do the same.

If you ever feel this way, I want you to know you are not alone. I am here for you and with you in the trenches of motherhood and life if you ever want or need a friend.

I believe in sharing our stories, it gives others permission to do the same, and the more honest, real and raw, the better.

Honoured to be on the motherhood journey with you.

Together, we burn brighter

Love, B x