…how much time you spend with your kids
while also squeezing in the cooking, bookkeeping, cleaning, patching of grazed knees, tending to the garden, driving everyone to a million activities
…how many games you play with them
compared to the number of things you do just for yourself each day that brings you pure joy
…whether you took time off to care for them
or headed straight back to work, or chose bottle over breastfeeding, or let your toddler have more screen time than green time…
…what your kids *actually* want (and what we all want, really) is to feel safe and seen.
So to give them that, what you really need is permission to put your own oxygen mask on so you can keep providing that loving, safe environment AND take care of your own needs and do the things that light YOU up.
(without guilt, shame or constantly second guessing yourself)
It’s ok to have kids AND to want (and need) something else for yourself.
It’s normal to have bad days, lose your cool, get thrown off course and make wrong choices, it’s how you come back from those moments, forgive yourself and get back on track that really matters.
It’s perfectly fine to be warm, kind and helpful towards others AND maintain strong boundaries that protect your precious time and energy.
It’s actually a good thing to take time out for yourself so you can recharge your batteries and come back feeling calmer and more like you.
But the real break you need is the one you give to yourself