With original photographs and journal entries included, it captures my husband and I working through the journey of conception and assisted reproductive technologies amidst geographic isolation, and the heartbreaking emotional trauma that comes with trying to conceive – and every battle in between.
Was it my endometriosis that was inhibiting us from conceiving?
Was it building up again? More than likely it wasn’t helping matters! Or was something else going on? Why was this not happening?
Dealing with frustration and lack of control is one of the toughest
aspects of trying and getting nowhere. You internalise it and it slowly eats away at you. We are raised under the guise of the old saying “all you can do is your best.” I was used to doing my best and achieving whatever I set
out to do. Well, when it comes to TTC even your best sometimes isn’t good enough.
And it sucks. Big time.
I didn’t really fit in anymore. I had had my fill of partying and getting drunk on weekends at the pub, races or rugby, but I wasn’t yet in the Mum-with-a-pram stage. I was in between in the trying club, and it was a lonely and confusing place to hang. It’s a club no one wants to be in and membership should be free because it has shitty benefits. Everyone in it is looking over the fence at the baby club, craving to be with those cool cats instead.
I was grateful to still have my business and great clients, but I discovered that ‘work until I get pregnant’ was not cutting the mustard in terms of an aspirational business vision. I didn’t want to secure any long-term projects in case we had a baby. I didn’t know what I could or couldn’t take on in case we had a baby. I wasn’t setting goals in case we had a baby. A baby was the goal. I felt paused, suspended in motion, just waiting for those two pink lines on the pregnancy test to appear so I could press play on life again. It was stifling.
EVERYTHING hinged on becoming pregnant. I couldn’t see any choice but to remain positive, focus on the day-to-day, keep looking after myself and for Adam and I to keep trying.
I’m a mother of four, wife, speaker, coach, author, entrepreneur, and Australian farmer.
While business has always taken centre stage in my ‘list of achievements’, it was a very challenging – however, incredibly rewarding – decision, to move my personal life into the limelight by publishing The Art of Trying.
This painfully raw book was written to help other women know that they are never alone in the journey of infertility and pregnancy loss. Though this publication is not a how-to book, some of the insights and experiences shared by others helped lead me to conceive and understand, and may help others on their journey as well.
From the 1st of November 2021, I am proudly donating $5 from the sale of every copy of The Art of Trying book purchased through the benitabensch.com shop to the Pink Elephants Support Network.
Pink Elephants Support Network is a registered not-for-profit that provides the latest resources, information and peer-support for anyone impacted by early pregnancy loss. Using evidence, empathy and connection, their unique digital-first approach offers a single source of specialist support, whenever and wherever it’s needed — for anyone who has directly experienced it, for family and friends, corporate partners or healthcare professionals seeking proven ways to help.
Pink Elephants works to RIGHT the story of early pregnancy loss. They normalise early pregnancy loss by smashing the stigma and leading a new narrative, through evidence-based data, acknowledging the diversity of experiences, providing useful tools and content, and facilitating meaningful connections.
31 powerful affirmations to gift a warrior woman through pregnancy, conception or motherhood.
Do you need assistance through your pregnancy, conception or motherhood journey? Visit The Art of Trying Resource Guide for a list of helpful contacts and supports.
Would you like to brighten your day or someone you care about? Download my free, A4 printables to share the love today.
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